Akil and Bagging the Teabags

Arrive early. Office empty. Have instructed successful work experience placement candidate, Akil to be onsite. He arrives. Popeye arms. Muscle man. Weak handshake. Disappointed. Keen to start. Postpone Health and Safety induction. Make for kitchen. Attack storage cupboards with vigour. Remove all teabag and tea related equipment. Remove all coffee and coffee related equipment. Contact local shop. Cancel milk order. Akil assists. Confused. Useful. Secure tea and tea related equipment. Secure coffee and coffee related equipment. Send immediate allstaffer reemphasising Kitchen Hygiene Policy. Lay blame at feet of teabagger. Imagine Olivia’s reaction.

Conduct Health and Safety induction with Akil. Show fire exit routes and fire assembly point. Make joke about assembly point being opposite pub not in it. No laughter. Serious. Good. Explain importance of Health and Safety in work place. Relate story of disastrous full emergency evacuation drill.

Set up Akil with computer. Desk. Phone. Brief Akil on duties relating to work. Brief Akil on Olivia surveillance. Confused. Agrees. Plan engaged.

Olivia enters. I watch. Takes off coat. I watch. Switches on computer. I watch. Moves to kitchen. I watch. Opens cupboard. I watch. Looks for tea. I watch. Can’t find tea. I smile.

That is all…