Make executive decision RE work experience placement candidate scheme. Akil pick of bad bunch. Scheme abandoned for this year. Revisit with reconsidered approach. Place more emphasis on selection process.
Receive decorating work quote from Suit Decorator. Quick response impressive. Quote not impressive. Make further executive decision to tackle work personally. Clear personal diary for this weekend. Cancel appointments in favour of work. No appointments to cancel. Task simple.
Receive email from Managing Director’s PA regarding Office Move Meeting concerns. Managing Director is concerned no progress made on “getting something in the diary.” Anger. Respond copying in Managing Director explaining progress has been made. Forward on previous email responses to moving of meeting. Forward on previous emails relating to office move formula and process.
Receive Out of Office response from Managing Director’s PA and Managing Director. Forward all correspondence including responses to outsourced IT Manager. Receive Out of Office from outsourced IT Manager. Observe outsourced IT Manager is seated directly opposite from my position. On the phone. Approach in person. Demand resolution.
That is all…
Showing posts with label akil. Show all posts
Showing posts with label akil. Show all posts
Monday
Akil Absent – Decorating Plan
No Akil. No work experience placement replacement. Receive emails regarding Akil’s absence. Respond accordingly. Not fulfilling work experience placement criteria. Poor attitude. Not right for company ethos. Dispatched accordingly. Send immediate allstaffer referring the Akil’s departure to quash insurgent emails. Point out security changes following departure. Alarm code. Door entry code.
Painter and decorator appointment. Redecorating following damp damage. Need to obtain quote. Painter and decorator in suit. Attempt to promote professional approach. Doesn’t work. Tie inconsistent with suit pattern. Tour areas needing attention. Inform job specifications and requirements. Makes notes. Slight nervous tick. Unnerving. Distracting.
Receive email from Olivia regarding Akil investigation. Betrayal of work experience placement candidate continues. Point out Akil was keen to assist with investigation. Got carried away. Another reason Akil dispatched. All staff viewed as suspects. Olivia appeased.
That is all…
Painter and decorator appointment. Redecorating following damp damage. Need to obtain quote. Painter and decorator in suit. Attempt to promote professional approach. Doesn’t work. Tie inconsistent with suit pattern. Tour areas needing attention. Inform job specifications and requirements. Makes notes. Slight nervous tick. Unnerving. Distracting.
Receive email from Olivia regarding Akil investigation. Betrayal of work experience placement candidate continues. Point out Akil was keen to assist with investigation. Got carried away. Another reason Akil dispatched. All staff viewed as suspects. Olivia appeased.
That is all…
Friday
Akil First Week Feedback
Organise and attend one to one with Akil to give initial feedback on first week of work experience placement. Consult original emails from Akil detailing ambitions and expectations to be obtained and achieved through work experience placement. Consult transcript made of original telephone interview. Cross reference said ambitions and expectations with actual achievements. Note 53 percent uptake in achievement. Respectable start. Make reference to impeccable basement storage inventory. Make particular mention of colour coding used. First rate. Professional standard.
Move to other projects. Express disappointment with lack of movement with contraband fork investigation. Express increased disappointment with lack of surveillance on Olivia’s tea-making habits. Suggest personal feelings have clouded judgement. Akil refuses to spy on Olivia. Feels morally compromised. Suggest that moral compromise necessary for completion of work experience placement. Akil angry. Attempt compromise. Akil not interested. Express importance for negotiation in adult working life. Not interested. Express disappointment in declining attitude. Decide to terminate work experience placement.
That is all…
Move to other projects. Express disappointment with lack of movement with contraband fork investigation. Express increased disappointment with lack of surveillance on Olivia’s tea-making habits. Suggest personal feelings have clouded judgement. Akil refuses to spy on Olivia. Feels morally compromised. Suggest that moral compromise necessary for completion of work experience placement. Akil angry. Attempt compromise. Akil not interested. Express importance for negotiation in adult working life. Not interested. Express disappointment in declining attitude. Decide to terminate work experience placement.
That is all…
Thursday
Office Move update
Still no response RE taxi feedback. Send follow up allstaffer regarding importance of feedback in situation. All affected. No time to be indifferent. Expect limited response.
Receive email from Managing Director’s PA. Office Move meeting moved to Tuesday AM due to diary clash. Respond pointing out that a). This email has already been received. B). Frustration at continuing movement and insecurity of meeting. Important topic. Needs to be discussed. Additional growth needs to be acted upon asap. Attached received notification. Await response. None.
Observe Olivia and Akil sharing joke. Sharing banter. Observe Akil sharing joke and banter with other staff. Akil invited to Thursday pub session. Personal invite lacking. Contemplate going to pub anyway. Decide against. No invite. No welcome.
That is all…
Receive email from Managing Director’s PA. Office Move meeting moved to Tuesday AM due to diary clash. Respond pointing out that a). This email has already been received. B). Frustration at continuing movement and insecurity of meeting. Important topic. Needs to be discussed. Additional growth needs to be acted upon asap. Attached received notification. Await response. None.
Observe Olivia and Akil sharing joke. Sharing banter. Observe Akil sharing joke and banter with other staff. Akil invited to Thursday pub session. Personal invite lacking. Contemplate going to pub anyway. Decide against. No invite. No welcome.
That is all…
Taxi Update
Receive email form Managing Director’s PA. Office Move meeting moved to Tuesday AM due to diary clash. Respond accordingly.
Send out immediate allstaffer with questionnaire referring to new taxi company. Bid to ascertain passenger satisfaction after one months service. Range of possible ratings for differing areas relating to personal and client transportation. Punctuality. Cleanliness of vehicle. Suitability of vehicle. Performance of vehicle. Performance of driver. Aptitude of driver. Cleanliness of driver. Furhter section to compare and contrast trialed firm with incumbent.
Receive email from Bald Goatee. Incumbent taxi company account manager. Monthly billing clearly shows lack of action. Apologises for not “coming back to me” sooner. Wishes to resolve issues as soon as possible. Three weeks after meeting! Respond informing Bald Goatee of trial with new company. Express concern of three week meeting feedback lead time. Question punctuality and dedication of incumbent taxi firm. Inform Bald Goatee “jury is out” on new company. Will respond accordingly upon receipt of sufficient feedback on trialed company. Note to feedback to Spikey goatee.
Inspect basement storage with newly categorised inventory. All present. All correct. Note to congratulate Akil on detail.
That is all…
Send out immediate allstaffer with questionnaire referring to new taxi company. Bid to ascertain passenger satisfaction after one months service. Range of possible ratings for differing areas relating to personal and client transportation. Punctuality. Cleanliness of vehicle. Suitability of vehicle. Performance of vehicle. Performance of driver. Aptitude of driver. Cleanliness of driver. Furhter section to compare and contrast trialed firm with incumbent.
Receive email from Bald Goatee. Incumbent taxi company account manager. Monthly billing clearly shows lack of action. Apologises for not “coming back to me” sooner. Wishes to resolve issues as soon as possible. Three weeks after meeting! Respond informing Bald Goatee of trial with new company. Express concern of three week meeting feedback lead time. Question punctuality and dedication of incumbent taxi firm. Inform Bald Goatee “jury is out” on new company. Will respond accordingly upon receipt of sufficient feedback on trialed company. Note to feedback to Spikey goatee.
Inspect basement storage with newly categorised inventory. All present. All correct. Note to congratulate Akil on detail.
That is all…
Wednesday
Crime follow up and Roof Repair
Onsite early. Shouty Shorts arrives. Requests hat. Hat and Shorts reunited after completion of job. Shouty Shorts joined by Placid Brummy. Shouty Shorts shouts. Placid Brummy not appearing to listen. Show them to roof. Unlock door. Take care with new Redlam Compatible Cermam Tube Break Bolt.
Receive call from Olivia. Local Police representative in reception. Make joke her time is up. She laughs. I laugh. Only half joking. Contraband Fork investigation will prove joke to be real. No laughing then.
Laughing policeman. Too jolly. Crime has been committed. We share the same name. He laughs. I don’t. Show CCTV footage. Make copy. Submit evidence. PC Jolly requests tour of building. Assess building security. Proactive approach. Impressive.
Side alleyway. Needs gate with rolling razor wire. Front gate needs reinforced lock. Windows need security film. Alarm needs upgrading. More sensors. More break points. Make notes. CCTV fine. Possible need for smart water. Motion activated smoke alarm. Note to investigate both. Note to draw up security improvement plan. Note to consult Operations Budget. Note to request additional Security Operations Budget. PC Jolly gives card. Points out his name. Laughs that we have same name. He’s done that joke!
Observe Olivia and Akil. Talking. Laughing. Request inventory for basement storage. Akil returns to computer. Set deadline. Olivia sets up meeting. Reception unmanned. Note to liaise with finance office junior for manning of reception when left unmanned so manned all the time. By girls. Olivia away. Investigate for evidence.
That is all…
Receive call from Olivia. Local Police representative in reception. Make joke her time is up. She laughs. I laugh. Only half joking. Contraband Fork investigation will prove joke to be real. No laughing then.
Laughing policeman. Too jolly. Crime has been committed. We share the same name. He laughs. I don’t. Show CCTV footage. Make copy. Submit evidence. PC Jolly requests tour of building. Assess building security. Proactive approach. Impressive.
Side alleyway. Needs gate with rolling razor wire. Front gate needs reinforced lock. Windows need security film. Alarm needs upgrading. More sensors. More break points. Make notes. CCTV fine. Possible need for smart water. Motion activated smoke alarm. Note to investigate both. Note to draw up security improvement plan. Note to consult Operations Budget. Note to request additional Security Operations Budget. PC Jolly gives card. Points out his name. Laughs that we have same name. He’s done that joke!
Observe Olivia and Akil. Talking. Laughing. Request inventory for basement storage. Akil returns to computer. Set deadline. Olivia sets up meeting. Reception unmanned. Note to liaise with finance office junior for manning of reception when left unmanned so manned all the time. By girls. Olivia away. Investigate for evidence.
That is all…
Tuesday
Securing Roof Access
Locksmith onsite. Tiny Italian. All hands. Make for roof. Examines door. Point out need for emergency exit in case of fire. Aware of fact. Decide on installation of Redlam Compatible Cermam Tube Break Bolt. Bolt secured with padlock. Ceram tube broken in case of emergency exit. Great product. Installation interrupted. Tiny Italian receives call. Shouts in foreign. Waves arms. Hangs up. Back to installation. No explanation. Finishes. Firm handshake.
Observe Akil making tea for Olivia. Not happy. Plan is for Akil to observe Olivia’s tea-making habits. Not become one of them. Note to bring this up in daily feedback session. Note to mention feedback was not sufficient from previous session. Still no supporting evidence. Suspect Akil is switching loyalty. Observe Akil smiling. Observe Olivia smiling.
Investigate motion detection devices for Kitchen Cam security.
Instruct Akil to audit basement storage area. Require full inventory of stored items. In detail. Full days work.
That is all…
Observe Akil making tea for Olivia. Not happy. Plan is for Akil to observe Olivia’s tea-making habits. Not become one of them. Note to bring this up in daily feedback session. Note to mention feedback was not sufficient from previous session. Still no supporting evidence. Suspect Akil is switching loyalty. Observe Akil smiling. Observe Olivia smiling.
Investigate motion detection devices for Kitchen Cam security.
Instruct Akil to audit basement storage area. Require full inventory of stored items. In detail. Full days work.
That is all…
Monday
Roofer Negotiation
Receive call from Shouting Shorts. Deaf roofer. Enquiring after lost hat. Inform that is has been tagged and bagged. Lost property. Requests return of hat via Royal Mail. Point out collection of hat can be made when job complete. May not be back onsite for three weeks. No hat for three weeks. Will come in Wednesday AM. Negotiation successful. Hat hostage key to resolution.
Note to complete securing of roof access. Wind earlier lifted cigarette butts. They fell to ground. Rain of cancer. Not good image for company. Contact locksmith. Book in for Tuesday AM
Akil infiltrating Olivia. Very friendly. Laughter. See flaw in earlier plan. Akil set to observe Olivia’s tea-making habits. Teabags and tea related equipment removed from kitchen and secured. Note to restore kitchen stocks tomorrow AM. Wait in anticipation for Akil’s report. Hoping for progress on Contraband Fork investigation.
Receive hoards of emails regarding missing tea and tea making equipment. Receive 30 percent less emails regarding coffee and coffee related equipment. Suggests tea favourable beverage of office. Note to decrease coffee supply order by 30 percent. Note to increase tea supply order accordingly. Note to audit sugar and sweetener.
That is all…
Note to complete securing of roof access. Wind earlier lifted cigarette butts. They fell to ground. Rain of cancer. Not good image for company. Contact locksmith. Book in for Tuesday AM
Akil infiltrating Olivia. Very friendly. Laughter. See flaw in earlier plan. Akil set to observe Olivia’s tea-making habits. Teabags and tea related equipment removed from kitchen and secured. Note to restore kitchen stocks tomorrow AM. Wait in anticipation for Akil’s report. Hoping for progress on Contraband Fork investigation.
Receive hoards of emails regarding missing tea and tea making equipment. Receive 30 percent less emails regarding coffee and coffee related equipment. Suggests tea favourable beverage of office. Note to decrease coffee supply order by 30 percent. Note to increase tea supply order accordingly. Note to audit sugar and sweetener.
That is all…
Akil and Bagging the Teabags
Arrive early. Office empty. Have instructed successful work experience placement candidate, Akil to be onsite. He arrives. Popeye arms. Muscle man. Weak handshake. Disappointed. Keen to start. Postpone Health and Safety induction. Make for kitchen. Attack storage cupboards with vigour. Remove all teabag and tea related equipment. Remove all coffee and coffee related equipment. Contact local shop. Cancel milk order. Akil assists. Confused. Useful. Secure tea and tea related equipment. Secure coffee and coffee related equipment. Send immediate allstaffer reemphasising Kitchen Hygiene Policy. Lay blame at feet of teabagger. Imagine Olivia’s reaction.
Conduct Health and Safety induction with Akil. Show fire exit routes and fire assembly point. Make joke about assembly point being opposite pub not in it. No laughter. Serious. Good. Explain importance of Health and Safety in work place. Relate story of disastrous full emergency evacuation drill.
Set up Akil with computer. Desk. Phone. Brief Akil on duties relating to work. Brief Akil on Olivia surveillance. Confused. Agrees. Plan engaged.
Olivia enters. I watch. Takes off coat. I watch. Switches on computer. I watch. Moves to kitchen. I watch. Opens cupboard. I watch. Looks for tea. I watch. Can’t find tea. I smile.
That is all…
Conduct Health and Safety induction with Akil. Show fire exit routes and fire assembly point. Make joke about assembly point being opposite pub not in it. No laughter. Serious. Good. Explain importance of Health and Safety in work place. Relate story of disastrous full emergency evacuation drill.
Set up Akil with computer. Desk. Phone. Brief Akil on duties relating to work. Brief Akil on Olivia surveillance. Confused. Agrees. Plan engaged.
Olivia enters. I watch. Takes off coat. I watch. Switches on computer. I watch. Moves to kitchen. I watch. Opens cupboard. I watch. Looks for tea. I watch. Can’t find tea. I smile.
That is all…
Friday
Work Experience and Teabagger
Receive email form Managing Director’s PA. Office Move meeting moved to Tuesday PM due to diary clash. Respond accordingly.
Receive call from one of two potential work experience placement candidates. Akil. Very keen. Very eager. Unavailable for pre-arranged interview due to gastric flu. Questionable. Response to interview questions rated medium to impressive. Free ASAP. Could be tool in Contraband Fork investigation. Possible to team him up with Olivia when not needed by me. Keen to experience role. Willing to go out of remit when required. No job too small. Willing to work for travel reimbursement. Lives close. Travel reimbursement cost minimal. Way under budget. Engage services. To begin Monday AM.
Receive call from second of two potential work experience placement candidates. Lucy. Called too late. Not interested. Goodbye.
Anger. Kitchen hygiene has been violated. Teabag left in sink. Unacceptable. Blatant disregard for Kitchen Hygiene. Log into Kitchen Cam CCTV on food preparation area. Blank screen. Network feed not interrupted. Investigate. Piece of White 80gsm A4 paper secure in front of lens with Blue Tac. Remove paper. Remove Blue Tac. Remove slight grease residue of Blue Tac from wall. More anger. Teabag and lens obscuration blatant personal attack. Wait. Think. Revenge.
Note to assign Akil to observe Olivia’s tea-making habits.
That is all…
Receive call from one of two potential work experience placement candidates. Akil. Very keen. Very eager. Unavailable for pre-arranged interview due to gastric flu. Questionable. Response to interview questions rated medium to impressive. Free ASAP. Could be tool in Contraband Fork investigation. Possible to team him up with Olivia when not needed by me. Keen to experience role. Willing to go out of remit when required. No job too small. Willing to work for travel reimbursement. Lives close. Travel reimbursement cost minimal. Way under budget. Engage services. To begin Monday AM.
Receive call from second of two potential work experience placement candidates. Lucy. Called too late. Not interested. Goodbye.
Anger. Kitchen hygiene has been violated. Teabag left in sink. Unacceptable. Blatant disregard for Kitchen Hygiene. Log into Kitchen Cam CCTV on food preparation area. Blank screen. Network feed not interrupted. Investigate. Piece of White 80gsm A4 paper secure in front of lens with Blue Tac. Remove paper. Remove Blue Tac. Remove slight grease residue of Blue Tac from wall. More anger. Teabag and lens obscuration blatant personal attack. Wait. Think. Revenge.
Note to assign Akil to observe Olivia’s tea-making habits.
That is all…
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