Kitchen Revolution

Enter kitchen. Anger. Four teabags present in sink. Teabagger strikes with vigour. Observe office. Olivia indifferent. Guilty looks non existent. Immediately log into Kitchen Cam. CCTV on food preparation area. Excitement. Rerun footage from early morning to present. Kitchen busy. Unable to ascertain teabagger identity. Kitchen cam has failed. Observe further footage. Teabagger still unattainable. Note to move position of Kitchen Cam. Note to engage secondary Kitchen Cam closer to sink. Wait. Observe. Breakthrough. Contraband fork evidence obtained. Daniel. Dan the man. Client services department. Unmasked. Footage displays contraband forks kept in luxury muesli packet. Middle cupboard. Top shelf. Dishing out forks. Willy nilly. Screen grab images of offending actions. Begin allstaffer. Paste screen grabs of offending actions in body of message. Wait. Think. Delete allstaffer draft. Don’t send. Play game. Outsmart. Win.

Receive email from Olivia requesting ten days annual leave beginning following Monday. Exciting deal found. Winter sun. Apologies for short notice. Company holiday policy states that two weeks notice must be given before booking holiday. In operations department suitable checks must be made with all other departments to ascertain needs over period of absence. If heightened operations attention needed over period of absence annual leave request should be denied. Think. Present period traditionally quiet. Feeling buoyant. Please Olivia is not purveyor of contraband forks. Approve request. Enquire as to destination. Out of interest. Thailand. Beach resort. Looking forward to tanning. Dusting off bikini. Interesting. Respond saying look forward to seeing her new tan. Immediately regret sending. Responds with smiley face. I smile.

That is all…