Kitchen Plan

Update company holiday database with Olivia’s details. Instruct Olivia to make necessary arrangements on personal timesheet computer programme.

Contact recruitment agency on PSL (preferred supplier list) give point by point requirement of right candidate. Immediately receive phone call. Effervescent voice. Over the top. Named Amber. Dislike name. Called for a chat. Don’t want a chat. Discuss needs. Needs detailed in email just sent. Tell more about role. They recruited Olivia. Should know role inside out. Will have a think. Ping some ideas across. Tempted to point out Ping is a radar term. Decide against it. Going to find me a star. Just get on with it. Dislike recruitment consultants.

Email Olivia to begin work on comprehensive handover document for prospective temp. Include step by step guide to daily tasks. Good to remind Olivia of own role. Instruct to be ready for review by Thursday AM. Sidenote to observe kitchen whilst Olivia on leave. Teabagging occurs on average three times every two weeks. One third of occasions there is a 200 percent increase in teabag residue. Teabagging occurred today. If Olivia is teabagger occasion will not arise for two weeks from today. Gives three day cross over period. Guilt could be proved. Guilt could be disproved.

Daniel. Dan the man. Evening plan formulated. Operation Fork Contraband in action. Instruct cleaners to collect all forks. Wash and sanitise. Leave in plastic container supplied. Attend onsite after stated cleaning hours. Alone. Locate luxury muesli packet. Obtain contraband fork supply. Secure contraband fork supply. Secure regular fork supply. Replace contraband fork supply with calling card from “Forkman of the Apocalypse.” I smile.

That is all…