Christmas Party - Aftermath Continued

Head banging. Stomach churning. Contraband Eggnog taste still in mouth. Office deserted all day. Complete disaster zone. Discover female underwear in three separate locations. Discovered male sock on Christmas tree. Kitchen Cam removed from wall. Destroyed.

Contact cleaning company to commence clean up operation. Man in the scarf laughs down phone. Inappropriate response from service provider. Note to review contract in new year.

Survey office for damage. Kitchen Cam only true casualty. Additional mess manageable. Begin checklist and plan for cleaners.

Discover inappropriate graffiti in client toilet. Send out immediate allstaffer regarding size and nature of drawing. Looks like it had been traced. Suspect perpetrator still has black outline on self. Contemplate ID parade. Impractical. Depleted workforce in attendance.

Note to write strongly worded letter to Karaoke company. Note to quote appropriate sections of Health and Safety legislation relating to electrical goods.

Note to call Julia the Junior in for immediate disciplinary.

Note to follow up discussion with MD relating to payrise.

Note to apologise to Olivia…

That is all…

Christmas Party Week – Day 4(4)

Out of hand. Bar area compromised. Karaoke machine emitting smoke. Illegal contraband Eggnog flowing. Christmas playlist hacked. Music loud. Olivia outfit amazing.

That is all…

Christmas Party Week – Day 4(2)

Contraband. Unauthorised Eggnog distributed throughout office. Potent. Contravenes Drugs and Alcohol Policy. MD intoxicated. Level of employee intoxication bordering on Health and Safety breach. Consult Kitchen Cam. Device used to observe flagrant abuse of kitchen facilities. No evidence. All staff affected. Julia the Junior AWOL. Olivia smiling. Not close enough to smell breath.

Begin set-up of “party” area. Julia the Junior still AWOL. Olivia covers reception. No help with set-up. Engage set-up plan. Relocate employees in allocated area. Forward telephones to hot desk locations. Ensure desks are cleared. All desk top items accounted for. Documented. Secure items. Move furniture. Designate bar area. Effectively stock bar and two relocated kitchen fridges. Ensure alcohol and soft drinks only accessible from bar manager area. Contemplate creating “No Eggnog” sign. No time. Disregard thought. Layout “Katona” food. Unsure of quality. Urgh.

Karaoke company arrives. Company = 1 man. Big. Beard. Long Hair. Baseball cap. Shorts! Tunage Karaoke. Mr Tunage very excited. Never done an office before. Express concerns about voltage. Load sharing. Fuse capacity. Mr Tunage is confident. Sets up. Tests system. Eye of the Tiger. He’s good. Suggests I try. For luck. Decline. Tunage slaps back. Shouts enjoy. Winks. Leaves. Long evening ahead.

That is all…

Christmas Party Week – Day 3(1)

Karaoke booking achieved. Good deal. Props to Olivia. Not too much. All genres catered for. Indie. Rock. Pop. Contemplate “Oh Carol.” Decide not to.

Alcohol ordered. Sufficient amount. Below budget. Julia the junior keen to know what’s on offer. Slight palpitation. Food secured. “Katona” option favoured. Google “Katona.” Urgh.

Decide on costume for Sound of Music fancy dress theme.

Decide to source decorations. Olivia too flamboyant.

That is all…

Christmas Party Week – Day 2(1)

Olivia submits three Karaoke options. Hip-Hop. Too Niche. Full FX. Too Expensive. Drag. Too Overdressed. Instruct to keep looking.

That is all…

Christmas Party Week - Day 1

MD reneges on entertainment policy. Party necessary for company moral. Last minute planning required. Personal moral at stake.

Date set. Budget agreed. Survey sent to ascertain thoughts and opinions on options for Christmas entertainment. Note to check validity of word “Christmas” against office Equal Opportunities Policy. Search for alternative description. Agree on three for use if “Christmas’” contravenes policy. Festive. End of Year. Winter.

Survey results:
Lunch. 3%
Dinner. 23%
Drinks in Office with “entertainment”. 74%

Policy indicates use of “Christmas” viable but suggests Xmas to be safe. Decide to use Xmas. Further decline of English grammar.

Enlist Olivia as Christmas/Xmas Party coordinator. Send immediate email to effect. Receive immediate response. More than happy to help. Kiss. Smiley Face. Suggest meeting to discuss plans. Receive “Cool” as response. Kiss. Smiley face. Suggest immediate action. Julia the Junior to cover reception duties.

Commandeer small meeting room. Flaunting room booking policy. Necessary evil. Urgent planning action required. Olivia arrives. Skirt too short. Top too low. Hair good. Outline budget. Outline results of survey. Olivia suggests minimal food maximum alcohol. Recall previous organised entertainment. Express reservations. Olivia suggests lack of alcohol lack of attendance. Think. Agree to more alcohol option. Food. Olivia suggest we “Go Katona” to keep costs down. Confused but trust judgement. Trust enthusiasm. Trust smile. Eliminate spirits from alcohol order. Recall previous organised entertainment. Put foot down. Beer. Wine. Soft drinks. Olivia to source. Entertainment decided. Karaoke. Equipment in office. Relocation of furniture in reception area. Note to draw up timeline for relocation prior to day of party. Olivia to source Karaoke supplier. Submit for approval. Reaffirm budget. Suggest Julia the Junior to “man bar” on night of party. Olivia advises of apparent drink problem. Reconsider.

That is all…

Plan for event

Begin list of possible staff events to organise. Group pottery class. Karaoke. Pancake night. Cross out karaoke. Office not ready for “Oh Carol.” Foosball tournament. Poker tournament. Cocktail lessons. Pole dancing lessons. Massage and pampering. Wine tasting. Ping Pong lessons/tournament. Real ale tasting. Hairdressing lessons. Life drawing class. Burlesque life drawing class. Burlesque dancing class. Salsa night. Cheese and Wine night.

Review list. Narrow down two possibles.

Burlesque life drawing. Pancake night.

Note to draw up pros and cons to each. Note to get cost for each. Note to get Olivia to assist with organisation.

That is all…