Hat returned. Fork Contraband Investigation.

Desk abandoned. Use stealth. Use cunning. Use time. Wisely. Identify what needs to be found. Office fork supply distinguishable by layered inverted crescent design. Contraband fork smooth double rim effect. Offending tea bag pyramid shape. Office supply round. Attack drawers. Keep below reception desk. Out of eyeline. Notice dust on floor. Note to email Man in the Scarf regarding dust negligence. Note to increase scope of cleaning inspection. Phone rings. Panic. Divert. Panic avoided. Desk approached. Finance junior. Crouch low. Finance junior departs. Quicken pace. Look through drawer. Nothing. Look through another drawer. Nothing. No evidence. Time running out. Stationery drawer. Nothing. No offending knives. No offending teabags. Olivia’s laugh. Sweet laugh. Panic. Abandon search. Retreat. Nothing.

Roof repair complete. Invoice produced. Hat returned. Shouty Shorts snatches back. Placid brummy silent. Inspect roof. Impressive. Note to get quote for redecorating damp areas. Potential weekend work. Shouty Shorts leaves.

Akil produces inventory. Detailed. Cross referenced. Colour coded. Nice. Boy will go far. Faith he will prevail with evidence after all.

That is all…

Crime follow up and Roof Repair

Onsite early. Shouty Shorts arrives. Requests hat. Hat and Shorts reunited after completion of job. Shouty Shorts joined by Placid Brummy. Shouty Shorts shouts. Placid Brummy not appearing to listen. Show them to roof. Unlock door. Take care with new Redlam Compatible Cermam Tube Break Bolt.

Receive call from Olivia. Local Police representative in reception. Make joke her time is up. She laughs. I laugh. Only half joking. Contraband Fork investigation will prove joke to be real. No laughing then.

Laughing policeman. Too jolly. Crime has been committed. We share the same name. He laughs. I don’t. Show CCTV footage. Make copy. Submit evidence. PC Jolly requests tour of building. Assess building security. Proactive approach. Impressive.

Side alleyway. Needs gate with rolling razor wire. Front gate needs reinforced lock. Windows need security film. Alarm needs upgrading. More sensors. More break points. Make notes. CCTV fine. Possible need for smart water. Motion activated smoke alarm. Note to investigate both. Note to draw up security improvement plan. Note to consult Operations Budget. Note to request additional Security Operations Budget. PC Jolly gives card. Points out his name. Laughs that we have same name. He’s done that joke!

Observe Olivia and Akil. Talking. Laughing. Request inventory for basement storage. Akil returns to computer. Set deadline. Olivia sets up meeting. Reception unmanned. Note to liaise with finance office junior for manning of reception when left unmanned so manned all the time. By girls. Olivia away. Investigate for evidence.

That is all…

Roof

Roofer onsite. In shorts. It’s winter. Long grey beard. Woolly hat. Shouts. Definitely deaf. Take tour of damp areas. Minor downpour previous evening providing fresh evidence of problem. Single Ply Roofing prone to leaks. Abscond for further investigation. Shorts clears stones. Investigates Polyurethane Membrane. Shorts shouts that possible breach has occurred. Microscopic holes caused by pressure from stones on Polyurethane Membrane. Pressure caused by people walking one stones. Observe used cigarette evidence suggesting area being used as break area. Note to send immediate allstaffer regarding roof access contravening Health and Safety policy. Disciplinary action for those that flout the rules. Note to point out Danger of Death. Note to make Danger of Death bold and change colour of text to red. Note to also underline. Danger of Death is serious. Note to investigate options to secure roof access further. Polyurethane membrane needs to be replaced. Note to add to allstaffer cost incurred from flirting with Danger of Death. Note to add smoking is also Danger of Death. Have second thoughts on last thought. Smoking is their choice. Roof is not. Shorts shouts goodbye. leaves woolly hat. Bits of beard hair in it. Bag it. Tag it as lost property.

Attempt contact with work experience candidates. Both fail to answer phone. Telephone interview pr-arranged. Disregard for order apparent. Have second thoughts. They have until midday to return calls.

That is all…