Bookings. Policies and Expressive Punctuation

HR Policy reviews. New MD requires new employee handbook. All policies to be updated. All policies ARE updated. Particular attention given to termination and redundancy. Analysis of spend on salaries. Note to point out Junior Receptionist is overspend. Olivia’s promotion is overspend. Suggest begin analysing resources.

Prepare new Policy Document. Email PA to MD for meeting to discuss. MD returns email. Copies in Olivia. Olivia responds. Smiley face. I respond. Kiss. Unintentional. MD does not respond.

Email Olivia to book meeting room. No refreshments. Olivia responds. Copies in Julia the Junior. Asks her to book room. Smiley face. I asked her to book it! Respond to both demanding immediate booking. Julia the Junior responds. Taxi booked.Smiley face. Respond pointing out room booking not taxi. No smiley face. Julia the Junior responds. Taxi cancelled. Smiley winky face. Respond to both demanding update on booking. No smiley face. No smiley winky face. Julia the Junior responds. Room booked for Friday. Last month. Smiley face. Email Olivia direct. Tell her to book room. No smiley face. She responds copies in Julia the Junior. Bullet points procedure for booking room. Smiley face. Quicker to book herself! Julia the Junior responds. Room booked. Smiley face. Olivia responds. Smiley face. Note to revise internal email policy. Ban on facial expressions expressed through punctuation.

That is all…

Meeting Moved

Receive email from Managing Director’s PA. Office Move meeting moved to Tuesday AM due to diary clash. Respond pointing out that this is a repeat email. Again. Forward email from yesterday regarding frustration at continuing movement of Office Move Meeting. Add addendum at frustration of receiving repeat emails and no firm answer regarding queries raised.

Receive out of office reply.

That is all…

And so it begins

The 32mm Large Lipped paperclip is far superior to its thinner lipped cousin. It maintains fifty-two percent more grabbage based on the average A4 80gsm page. I know this because it’s my job to know this. If I didn’t know this I’d be ordering any old kind of paperclip, grabbage would not be achieved, pages would fall and chaos would ensue. It’s important.

I have been trialing the Silver Sheen 32mm Large Lipped paperclip to add a little variety to the office. If successful it will replace the Silver Mat 32mm Large Lipped model that I have been using. It could go either way. The excitement of two titans of page grabbage going head to head is truly electric. Who will win? I’ll let the public decide. After all it is they that will benefit, it’s them on the front line, it’s them that need the grabbage.

I send out an allstaffer with a brief survey to complete in order to ascertain thoughts and opinions on the two rivals. My breath is truly baited.

That is all...